Once upon a time, everything was fine.

So much to say, but no words to convey.

2012-01-13T23:12:00.001+08:00

Here’s the truth about the truth. It hurts, so we lie.

2011-11-20T11:11:00.000+08:00

All this time, I've tried to say how I truly feel. I tried and tried, but in the end, I just keep it all inside. It's not that I want to because honestly, I constantly feel like I am on the verge of blowing up. All the stress, pressure, hurt and anxiety bubbling up, but I'm never able to let it out. So in the end, I just keep it inside. I've tried so many times to speak what's on my mind. All the words I've been meaning to say, all rehearsed and clear in my head, all go away whenever I get the chance to say it. I always end up sugarcoating the words, and they always mean the opposite of what I intended to say. When I get close to getting the words right, even if it was just a tiny bit what I initially meant, I'd feel awfully guilty about it, which results in me, crying and blaming myself for hurting someone else's feelings. Eventually, I got used to it. I just feel numb. I ignore it for as long as I can. I try to avoid personal questions as much as I can. I'd try my best to be there for the people I love, but I tend to find an exit whenever you ask for my opinions, because I don't like telling people what I really think when I know it will hurt their feelings.

I kept everything inside for so long and I snapped. I was angry at no one in particular, I was just hurt to the point where I couldn't take it anymore, because there's only so much that I can take. I'm tired. I'm sorry, but I'm really really tired.

Favourite things.

2011-10-13T21:50:00.009+08:00

These are currently my two favourite things. I haven't used black nail polish in a while. I've been using so much bright and bold colours recently that I forgot how much I liked using black nail polish. I just took a break from my assignments to paint my nails. And now I'm feeling lazy, so I guess I'll just continue drawing again tomorrow.

Skinny jeans are the only type of jeans I wear, and Topshop's Leigh Super Soft Skinny is love! It is really really soft and comfortable. I now own a pair in red and I really want to get another pair in black, but if there are other pretty colours available, I won't hesitate to get them too. It is definitely worth every penny.

Why not look at life from a different perspective?

2011-10-12T20:35:00.005+08:00

Metro Park Lido, Beijing.

13.06.11

06.10.11

2011-10-06T23:11:00.007+08:00

18. I'm officially eighteen. I'm not very fond of celebrating birthdays, well, by that, I mean mine. I actually prefer celebrating other people's birthdays. But. . .

. . . they planned a surprise celebration for me on the 29th of September. ♥ I love you all. Thank you all so so much. And thank you, baby. I love you. Hehe.

On the actual day, I went out for sushi and shopping with Mumsy. So yeah. That was pretty much all I did on my eighteenth birthday, and I enjoyed every second of it.

Those days. I am only able to relive those memories through my imaginations. Not the unpleasant days, but the days I could only wish to go back to.

2011-09-22T03:47:00.007+08:00

When there’s no one else, look inside yourself.

2011-09-15T17:10:00.003+08:00

Back to yesteryears.

2011-09-12T17:31:00.013+08:00

I remember, when I was younger, daddy would come over to pick me up and we would head over to the bookstore. We would browse the store all day, and daddy would tell stories about a good book or help me pick a book to read next. When it was time to go home, I wouldn't go back empty handed. I used to love looking through the store, wandering around, stopping in between aisles to browse through a book. I still do, in fact. It's something I could never grow out of. Even during my birthday, we would do just that. Daddy would let me pick whatever I wanted, but I would always end up buying books instead. I can spend all day in a bookstore choosing books. But with clothes, I would just pick whatever I like, try it on and then decide if I want it or not; it's that simple. With books, it's different. I love books. Oh, and libraries and bookstores, especially those that are filled with old-looking books.

Note to self.

2011-09-09T16:00:00.007+08:00

For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

—

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Because I know I’ll make it through.

2011-08-19T14:19:00.002+08:00

To-do list:

1. Finish drawing 3 more sketches for Colour Theory.

2. Draw another 5 more sketches for FM&M.

3. Finish 5 chapters of essay for History of Costume.

4. Re-do asian costumes for History of Costume.

5. Get started on Textiles group project.

6. Complete Colour Theory research book.
7. Study for History of Costume quiz.

Yep, FML. So much to do, so little time. Oh well, I better get started now then. Goodbye.

Let’s travel the world, just us two.

2011-08-11T23:00:00.004+08:00

I miss you, boo.

Can't really care less about blogging these days. Lost the urge to update this empty site. I like writing, well technically, I prefer tapping the keys on my laptop to writing by hand and I love literature, reading, art and shit like that. But lately, as I sign in to Blogger, it's like all the things I feel like jotting down vanishes, leaving me staring blankly at the screen. And yes, that explains why I haven't been updating for so so long. Sorry about that. I know I tend to go AWOL often. So yeah, I'm giving you guys or girls or whatever a heads up this time. I might be back soon though. Bear in mind that I said might be. Hmmm. I guess that's it, I'll see you when that time comes around. Taa.

850.38 miles away from home.

2011-07-04T22:30:00.002+08:00

Arrived in Kuala Lumpur with an 18 kg luggage yesterday morning. Used the KLIA Express to KL Sentral and from there, the LRT to Setiawangsa, alone. D:

Couldn't cross the road because ~~I have no idea how to~~ my luggage was too bulky, so I decided to use the- the- uhm the- you know, the whatchamacallit. Lol. Sorry, I can't think of the name for it. And because of that my hands were sore by the time I arrived at the apartment because I had to carry the freaking luggage up the stairs and drag it all the way down again and then walk some more to get there.

Sissy was waiting for me at the apartment. A while later she went to Genting with her boyfriend and Mumsy went to church so I was alone for a few hours. I took a nap and woke up at 6 to get ready to go out for dinner. Went to Pavilion to meet my sissy and her boyfriend.

Had our dinner at The Manhattan Fish Market.

The food was uhm. . . okay, I guess? Too much fish though. Haha. We went home after that. So yeah. Toodles.

P.S. The Beijing post is still in my drafts. Heh. So sorry about that. ~~I promise~~ I'll get to it as soon as I can.

Plants vs. Zombies.

2011-06-20T22:20:00.001+08:00

I'd like you to meet my purple zombie. Hehehe.

Hello world. I am back from Beijing, China. :D Actually, I came back two days ago, but I was too exausted to blog. And now, I am just plain lazy. :$ Please forgive my laziness. Heh. I promise I'll be back with a new entry soon.

Because nothing feels like home, when you’re a thousand miles away.

2011-06-06T23:22:00.004+08:00

Greetings to everyone back at home from Kuala Lumpur. I told you I'd be right back. Hahah. Leaving for Beijing at 12 AM tomorrow. I won't be able to access Blogger when I get there so, here I am.

Hmmm. If I was back at home, you would probably see me at Mcdonald's Drive-Thru at this time. Gahh! I think I am gonna go crazy soon.

I wanna go shopping so I can get my mind off things for a bit. I guess I can go shopping for a few hours before my flight to Beijing tomorrow. Yeay! But boohoo, gonna be broke again. Nyeh. Take care everyone. I'll be back soon. Toodles.

I miss you.

Be right back.

2011-06-05T23:35:00.029+08:00

Going to Beijing again tomorrow.

That means no Facebook, Twitter and Blogger for ten effing days.

I won't even be able to contact baby or my family and friends.

Torture? I think it's worst.
Shet. I'd rather be stuck at home playing facebook.

Bleh. Sayonara people!

Miss me, yeah? :P

Hehehe. Taa ~

There’s no place like home.

2011-06-03T20:33:00.161+08:00

Hello Miri, I'm home. Did anyone miss me? Har har. Don't answer that. I shall just let the pictures do the talking. :P I'm lazy like that.

View from above.

Smile always.

Don't mess with me! I'm holding a gun. Lol.

Didn't take much pictures on the first day. So yeah, lemme skip that. And. . . moving on.

Light trails.

Let's explore the world out there.

A day in Daisy Duck's shoes. Not easy to walk in, mind you.

Manukan Island.

Giant turtle.

At the bitch. Hahaha!

Snorkeling. I could probably do it all day.

The sun is starting to set.

Dinner time.

While waiting. . . messaging.

Pretty place, yummy food.

Calamari. Yummms.

Fusilli Marinara is love!

I got bored taking pictures of food. Haha.

Went to Suria Sabah to watch Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides after dinner. And then, after the movie we got lost while looking for a place to eat for supper. Lol. We went back to the hotel instead.

Of course, shopping is a must! Hehe. And these are the only things I bought.

A girl can never have too many shoes. Teehee.

Quiksilver tees for baby. Hehe.

And then finally, it was time to go back home.

Waiting for time to pass.

It's so fluffy!

Picture perfect.

There is an art to watching a sunset.

Let’s flyyy. Up, up, here we go, go.

2011-06-01T02:08:00.027+08:00

Off to Kota Kinabalu in a few hours. Take care, loves.

I'll be back in three days.

P.S. I love you, dear.

Miss Miri Model of the World 2011.

2011-05-30T22:43:00.020+08:00

Yesterday, I went to Eastwood Valley Golf & Country Club for the Miss Miri Model of the World 2011 crowning night with baby, my family and a few other friends. I have nothing to say, so uhm. . . Enjoy the pictures!

Phoebe, Ai Yin and Priscilla.

First runner-up.

Sissy two and one. Hahaha!

This is me familia. Hehe.

Baby, Janet and Me.

Cleopatra.

2011-05-26T18:34:00.015+08:00

Cleo. ♥ I miss this baby.

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?

2011-05-25T02:40:00.005+08:00

No matter how much they think they do, they don't.

Call me crazy.

2011-05-19T04:04:00.011+08:00

I am currently blogging through my iPod at four in the morning.

Yep, I am bored and I ~~can't sleep~~ don't feel like sleeping.

But then, I have nothing to crap about, my head hurts and yes, I am still bored.

So I guess I'll just go to sleep.

Goodnight.

This long distance is killing me.

2011-05-09T21:55:00.017+08:00

I miss you.

Baby is in Taiwan at the moment and I am stuck here, constantly refreshing my facebook page hoping to see a new message from him. If you're wondering then yes, that is pretty much everything I do every single day. -_- I seriously don't have a life.

Here, there, everywhere.

2011-05-06T14:55:00.015+08:00

Attention Yunn Mei Lee! The only reason I'm blogging now is because you asked me to. Haha. But I have nothing to crap about. So, I'll just blog about yesterday.

Hmmm. Where should I start? Oh! I know. I'll start with pictures from yesterday. We only took a few. And by a few I really meant *coughs* a few. No, seriously. So here goes.

This is Yunn Mei Lee.

And this is Emeelee. Oops. I mean Emily.

And they are my girlfriends. Someone else is missing because he deleted his pictures. Ahem. No worries. There's always next time. Bwa-hah-hah.

Anyways, we went to Boulevard, Parkson and Imperial. Uh-huh, we had nothing better to do. So yes, we went to every shopping mall in Miri (except Merdeka Mall, that is) because it's too far. From Imperial, we went back to Parkson to chill at . . .

Cannot see his face. Lol. But for your info, the one on the left is Ah Ting.

Free drinks for the girls, from the only boy there. Haha.

. . . Tea Box! Yummms. Haven't had these in a while. After that, we walked around some more. Hahaha. Funny how we kept on complaining about how not having a cinema here sucks. Grr. Be quick with the renovation, please!? We want to watch movies. So many nice movies coming out. #Sad life.

Okay, enough with the complaining. I lazy continue talking gibberish liao. This post long enough hor? Hehe. I shall go now. Bye bye.

P.S. Please don't kill me for uploading both of your pictures. Thank you. :D

Born to amuse, to inspire, to delight. Here one day, gone one night.

2011-04-25T23:16:00.008+08:00

Did you see those sky lanterns, babe?

It all happened a month ago and I still can't talk about it without holding back my tears. But I'm sure you're happy up there. So I'll be happy too. I miss you dear, we all do. Forever friends no matter what, remember? ♥

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

2011-04-09T23:33:00.009+08:00

Give yourself time to think.

Not everything is as it seems.

2011-04-03T22:56:00.153+08:00

Such a long weekend. :O I survived my first job. Okay, to be honest, not really. Hahaha. I raised the white flag. I worked for two and a half days and I don't ever want to do it again. Lol. I did it because I had nothing better to do. But I guess it was okay. Baby accompanied me most of the time. Sorry dear! You waited for me all day while I was busy. I love you. Hee.

* * *

Anyway. My little brother just turned fourteen today. We were supposed to go for dinner tomorrow night because I was supposed to work until ten tonight. But since I'm not working anymore, daddy decided to go tonight.

Had our dinner at Fratini's Restaurant.

I was waiting for baby to come. Hehe.

The birthday boy is camera shy.

After this came, I totally forgot about pictures.

Sorry, I forgot to take more pictures. ~~I was too busy enjoying my food.~~ Hehe. After dinner, daddy paid the bill. We were about to go back home when the waiter reminded us about the cake. Haha! We forgot about the cake. So, we brought the cake back instead of eating it there.

Hmmm. I can't think of anything else to post in this entry. So I guess I'll just end this post here. Taa ~

Tell me a lie, tell me another lie.

2011-03-04T16:15:00.002+08:00

You are the only one I’d wish for.

2011-02-14T00:41:00.049+08:00

Happy Valentine’s Day.

That guy up there ^ is my Valentine. Hehe.

Throughout life you will meet one person who is unlike any other. You could talk to this person for hours and never get bored, you could tell them things and they won't judge you. This person is your soulmate, your best friend. Don't ever let them go.

P.S. Baby, thanks for always being there for me. ♥ I love you. Don't ever forget that.

I wish I was fearless in telling you everything.

2011-01-24T14:22:00.023+08:00

I wanted to blog but when I logged in to Blogger my mind just went blank. Dot dot dot. Grr. What to blog about?

♛♔

And so, as you all know, Chinese New Year is just around the corner. Feeling excited? Nope, not at all. But I do look forward to spending it with Baby. Hehe.

I wonder, how is everyone lately? I miss school. I wish things weren't so different now. It's been a while since school ended and I'm sure most of you all already have plans. Unlike me, I'm still stuck at home. I know that time is running out and I need to decide. But I really wish that the circumstances were different.

Anyway, I wish all of you the best of luck and do remember to take care of yourselves, yeah?

You know you love me.

2011-01-19T19:46:00.011+08:00

Time for Gossip Girl. ♥

Fuck this shit.

2011-01-05T23:37:00.013+08:00

Tired. I really don't know what to do. Honestly speaking, I never really make any decisions because I always depend on others to decide for me. But now, it's all up to me. Daddy keeps on telling me that it's my choice and I should take up whatever course I want. That's the problem! I don't know what I want. Can someone please tell me what am I supposed to do? Pretty please? I'm afraid I'll end up making the wrong decisions.

I'm scared. In fact, I'm terrified. I don't want to leave. I don't know how am I going to get used to the idea of me being away from you for so long. At the same time, I don't want to disappoint mom and dad.

Is there any way out of this shit? If there is, I'd really like to know.

21.12.10

2010-12-21T23:41:00.016+08:00

Happy Birthday, baby.

I love you. ♥

Missed me? Hee.

2010-12-19T23:21:00.005+08:00

Ni hao. :D Me is back from Beijing.

One, two, three. Times up.

2010-12-05T12:39:00.025+08:00

23.11.10

~~Bahasa Melayu~~

24.11.10

~~English~~

25.11.10

~~History~~

29.11.10

~~Mathematics~~

30.11.10

~~P. Moral~~

01.12.10

~~Additional Mathematics~~

02.12.10

~~Science~~

09.12.10

P. Perakaunan

Why my blog so boring one? I feel like changing my blog layout. Bleh. I'll do it when I'm free. I know, my blog is dead. You can blame SPM. Hahaha. Just kidding. I'm just lazy. Hee. So sorry.

Anyways. . . One more subject to go! Prinsip Perakaunan paper 1 and 2. I can't wait. :D And then, I'll be off to Beijing the next day. But then, I still need to memorize all those shit. Damn.

On the bright side, yeay! It's gonna be the last day of school. Can't believe it. I spent five years in high school? :O It certainly doesn't feel like it.

To you, from me with love.

2010-10-15T19:54:00.017+08:00

Happy 2nd Monthsary, Dear.
15.10.10

First of all. I'm really really sorry. Sorry 'cause I can't go out again today. I'm sorry 'cause I can't always accompany you. T.T But I'll try my best. I promise!

Mr. Steven Lau,

Thanks for all the things you've done. Thanks for always being there for me. Thanks for always making me happy. Thanks for staying by my side when I'm sad or happy. Thanks for everything, dear. I love you.

Can I take a break?

2010-07-20T18:31:00.012+08:00

Life. Is very confusing at the moment. School. Is being a constant pain in the arse. I can't seem to drag myself up for school in the morning. But knowing that I don't really have a choice, I go to school and just end up feeling sleepy in class; therefore, I end up learning nothing. I've only got less than four months left to study. I don't think I can do this. And there is nothing that I want more than to give up. Aah! How like this?

Maybe someday you’ll understand.

2010-06-23T18:01:00.014+08:00

Green Park, London.

15.11.09

I can’t remember why.

2010-06-18T19:09:00.019+08:00

Hola. What up, peeps? Guess what? I am stuck at home watching FIFA World Cup with my family. If you're wondering, yes, my whole family enjoys watching football, wtf. Time well wasted. . . Not. Yikes. I seriously need to find something useful to do.

Bleh. What an uneventful holiday. Well, apart from the week spent in Sabah, that is. Ngeh heh heh. It was, indeed, a pretty fun-filled trip. And now that I am back at home, I have nothing to do. Meh. My. Life. Is. So. Boring.

I wish,

2010-06-14T18:27:00.007+08:00

Hello, hello, baby, you called? I can’t hear a thing.

2010-06-13T22:13:00.009+08:00

I suddenly have the urge to start blogging again. Hence, I am back. ~~For now, that is.~~ Hee. As you can see, I haven't been on here for quite some time now. And yes, I don't know what to blog about. So yeah, I shall go now. Toodles. I'll be back tomorrow.

Is there somebody who still believes in love?

2010-03-06T14:02:00.006+08:00

I guess it’s time to face the truth.

2010-02-12T00:34:00.015+08:00

♥ ♥ ♥

Dum dum dee dum.

2010-01-21T10:26:00.011+08:00

Instead of being in school (which is where I am supposed to be right now) I am here, blogging. Hah hah. A day away from school won't hurt, right?

Okay, I am bored. Bright Shadow, anyone? I don't want to play alone. Oops, I forgot. Everyone's in school, studying. Hmmm. Maybe I'll post up the pending posts from last year later on. But then again, I is kinda lazy. Meh. Maybe next time? Taa. ♥

I know every mile will be worth my while.

2010-01-09T16:21:00.006+08:00

First week of school + Loads of homework = Hell

Now all our memories, they’re haunted.

2009-12-29T23:12:00.024+08:00

Surprise, surprise. Me is back ~~from space~~. It's been a long time since I last updated, yes? Anyhoo, who cares? Bwa hah hah.

Boo. 2010 is just around the corner, people. Yikes. Excited? No freaking way. Time really flies, huh? Bleh, whatever.

I went through a lot throughout the year. I've done lots of crazy things; some of which I regret. But then I got to thinking that I'd rather regret the things I've done than the ones I never got the chance to do. Agree?

I think I learnt a lot this year. So yeah, I guess it's time to say goodbye to 2009 soon 'cause I still have lots of things to look forward to next year.

New Year resolutions? None. Oh, maybe just one. Heh. I resolve to set my priorities straight in 2010. SPM, here I come. But for now, I don't care. That's next year's problem. (:

Cherish the few days left while you still can, yeah? Toodles. ♥

I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow.

2009-11-04T17:42:00.011+08:00

I. Am. Confused.

I can't remember the last time I cried, let alone that much. I can't stop myself from crying and weeping. It fucking sucks.

I really don't know what to do right now. I don't know what to believe. I don't know what I want. I'm just scared. Of what? I'm not sure either. I just need some time to think things through, to figure out what I really ~~want~~ need.

Wake me up when October ends, please?

2009-10-14T21:21:00.012+08:00

The picture says it all.

I heart question mark.

2009-10-09T00:59:00.004+08:00

Why, hello there. *grins* I am back with nothing to write about ~~again~~. Bleh. Why is my life so boring? I have nothing to blog about. Okay, so maybe I do. But I is lazy lah. So yeah, maybe next time? Heh. Toodles. ♥

Lights out, nobody’s home.

2009-09-24T01:33:00.010+08:00

Sorry for the lack of updates. I was too busy being bored all week; ergo, I have nothing interesting to crap about. I think I'll blog when school reopens or perhaps, when something interesting happens. Heh. Goodnight. ♥

All I want is you.

2009-09-18T20:05:00.009+08:00

Gossip Girl. 42.1% only. Damn. Just finish already. I've got one week with nothing to do. I wanna watch movies. ): Astro keeps airing the same shit over and over again. Nyeh. ~~Astro sucks to the core and Streamyx is being a bitch~~.

Fuck. I just finished downloading 90210. You're probably wondering why I said fuck, yes? That is because I just realized I waited for nothing by downloading the wrong episode. And now, I need to wait for the right one to finish. That means no movies for me tonight and I need to fucking wait again. Stupid me.

I’ll never let another teardrop fall.

2009-09-18T04:53:00.013+08:00

Hey peepoo, it's freaking 5 in the morning. Heh. I am currently awake because of insomnia. So yeah, that's why I'm here. I am bored. What to do? What to do? What to do? Perhaps, I should try to get some sleep? Meh. Fuck insomnia. Goodnight. Oh and happy holidays, loves.

I’m tired of pretending everything is okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.

2009-09-14T19:07:00.040+08:00

I've been feeling out of the ordinary lately. With the screw-the-world attitude, I keep blaming everything around me but myself. I am not PMS-ing, okeh. The weather is so fucking hot it makes me cranky. Or maybe it's because of something else?

I can't put my finger on it. It feels like something isn't right and I can't help but feel pissed right now. I don't mean to, alright?

I feel like I've tried for so long to be happy, and the more I try, the more that goal slips from my grasp. It's almost like quicksand where the more you struggle, the more submerged you become. I've given up on everything. Nothing matters to me anymore. Feelings I used to have aren't there anymore and for the first time in a long time I really don't care.

Trying to fit in and not being yourself is easy but it doesn't always work out. Standing out from the crowd and being yourself is hard but when you find the courage to be yourself, you won't give much thought to what others think of you because what matters most is how you see yourself.

Let me ask you something. Do you ever get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? You don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy. But at the same time, you don't exactly know what is wrong either. If you could have anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting and even though being alone never was at least when you're alone, no one constantly asks you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who won't take “I don't know” for an answer.

Why? It is because you feel the way you do just because. There isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again but until then all you can do is wait. So tell me the truth, does it ever get better? Or is this what I have to look forward to?

Always look for the silver lining, and try to find the sunny side of life.

2009-09-13T19:38:00.020+08:00

The thought of going back to school after a weekend of relaxing and sleeping in is depressing. I dread school. Bleh. I hate Mondays. ~~I think I'll just sleep through class or something tomorrow~~.

I can’t figure out what’s wrong.

2009-09-11T16:28:00.027+08:00

I am feeling crabby. Why ah why? I don't like this feeling lah. CHEEBYE. Nothing happened. So can someone please tell me why am I feeling like this? Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Meh.

I don't feel like myself today. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me and my random mood swings. Nyeh. Goodbye. I no mood now. Pshh, who gives a damn?

I am bored with my life.

2009-09-10T17:53:00.006+08:00

Recent happenings? Sadly, none. My life is full of nothingness right now. There's nothing happening. In fact, it is pretty boring if you ask me. I need late night parties, random outings and fun fun fun. Uhh, maybe not the late night parties. Heh. During the holidays, perhaps?

Okay, let me see. I am out of words and I have nothing else to do here. So, I guess I should get out of here. Goodbye.

This is what you call a once in a lifetime kind of thing.

2009-09-09T21:09:00.017+08:00

Do you? Because, I do.
-
09.09.09

But I can’t ask you to give, what you already gave.

2009-09-08T17:58:00.035+08:00

x x x

And they say, I should let go of the past but what they don't know is that, I've been trying for the past few months and evidently, I am still trying because, you see, it isn't that simple. Over and over again, I keep seeing the same signs. It just feels like I am going nowhere. I know now that :

You can't make yourself forget
the things you aren't ready to let go of.

You can move on, so can I. I just need a little more time than you do. I admit that every once in a while, I still shed a tear or two. But I'll just leave it all behind because I know I've stopped trying; hoping and wishing things were different.

Maybe in time I would find a way and when the time comes, hopefully, I wouldn't have to wait a minute longer.

I am hopeless, not helpless.

2009-09-07T23:54:00.025+08:00

I hate dragging myself up for school in the mornings. Yes, I am not a morning person. Well, that is because mornings in general just bothers me. But still, it depends. I don't have a choice, do I?

I can't go to sleep at night and I am getting lazier by the day. My papa thinks I have insomnia, wtf. ~~I think so too~~. I've got my reasons, I guess. Heh.

The truth is I stay up because my mind is racing. I question my life, question who I am, question why I am here. Why do I keep asking myself these questions? I don't know. I don't know what to do anymore. Every time I try to sleep I think of. . . things. I just can't shut my brain off. It really scares me. I think I think too much.

My insomnia is really getting to me. It is robbing me of my sleep. I only get to sleep for 4 hours (or maybe less) every night and because of that, I would wake up and feel too sleepy the next day to do anything. That is why you see me sleeping in class ~~everyday~~ most of the time. So, don't ask.

Hah hah. I know, it's late and I have school tomorrow. I need to sleep. Uhh, no, I need to try and get some sleep. So yeah, goodnight.

Let’s escape this town for a little while.

2009-08-31T02:29:00.046+08:00

Finally, home sweet home.

Haven't had this much fun in a while and I smell awful of cigarette smoke and beer. Wheee. Had an awesome time. I love you all. Hah hah.

I am too lazy to elaborate. So, I think the pictures will do. (:

Yunn Mei and I.

Emily and Yunn Mei.

Emily and I.

Didn't get to take a picture of everyone. ): Maybe next time?

Phew! I am exhausted. School reopens tomorrow and I really need to get some sleep. End of story. Goodnight, loves.

Just take one step at a time.

2009-08-27T21:53:00.016+08:00

Bleh. I am bored out of my brains. Nothing fun to do and I don't really feel like updating at the moment so, I am not going to. Mwa hah hah. I is veh lazy. Maybe I'll do it next time. Goodnight. ♥

If I did something to make it work back then, I wouldn’t regret it now.

2009-08-21T20:01:00.032+08:00

Ignore the title, please. ~~I just wanted to give a heads up that I won't be around from the 23rd to 28th of August. I'll be spending the week in Singapore. So, don't miss me too much, alright? Mwa hah hah.~~

Update:
I ~~don't want to~~ can fucking ~~go anymore~~ stay.

Sometimes, I just feel like giving up.

2009-08-15T17:09:00.038+08:00

_____Hello,
Long time no blog. *grins* I know, I know, it has been a ~~very very very~~ long time since I last updated this, and I am so sorry for disappearing ~~again~~ without saying anything. I just took an accidental break and now, I am officially back from my unofficial hiatus. Okay, let's just cut to the chase, yeah?

I made some changes around here and I still am going to continue making a few. Anyways, as you can see, I don't have a chat box anymore. I will no longer use it because it takes way too much time to load. It gets annoying, don't you think? You can just leave comments instead. Hah hah. And then, there's the background. One word to describe it? Simple - just the way me likey. Nya hah hah. What's next? Oh yeah, I deleted a few pointless posts and, I changed my link. So, don't forget to relink me, alright? (:

Alrighty then, so-o-o, how's life? Well, life is just fan-fucking-tastic. Meh. Who am I kidding? Life. . . is a pain in the ass but, I have to admit that I really am enjoying myself. Like a roller coaster; sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down. It may scare you and make you sick at times but the best thing to do is to sit back, relax and enjoy the ride because it's inevitable that at the end of the day everything will be alright.

Allow me to digress. Heh. First week of exams and 8 papers down, another week and 6 papers to go. Good news or bad news? I can't figure out which category it should be in. I'll just say it's a little bit of both.

Uhm, I guess that's just about it. I'll try to update as much as I can from now on. ~~I promise~~. If I can think of something to write about, that is. (That is one of the reasons why I decided to take a break and stop writing for a while.) I couldn't think of anything to write. And now, I am at a loss for words, so yeah, am gonna go now, more next time.

You’re my only ticket out of loserville.

2009-06-08T23:59:00.023+08:00

Just got back from KL last night. Hah hah. One more week till the holidays are officially over and all I want to do is have some fun, but mid-terms are coming up right after the holidays and yes, I need to study. My previous results sucked; therefore, I need to get my grades up. Not in the mood to study. But like I said, I need to get my grades up.

Too much drama going on lately, I need a break. It's like I'm living in topsy-turvy town. Everything sucks and it just keeps getting worst. *big fat sigh* Life is chaotic, my life is a bitch.

I love school and all, but I just can't take all the drama. I just want to get it over with. On second thought, scratch that. It just gets harder after that. I want to go back to where life used to be easier, to when I didn't have to worry about a thing. Fuck, where's the rewind button when you need it?

Blah. I don't know. It just sucks, you know? I guess that's life, huh? Figures. Goodbye.

P.S. Just venting, don't mind me.

These are my confessions.

2009-04-30T20:38:00.046+08:00

Fuck. Nothing went well, and it just keeps getting worst. Yep, c'est la vie. Don't wanna talk about it. Hmph. Stupid school. Oh, and a big fuck you to all you effing prefects. Mind your own business. Still don't get my point? It'll be my pleasure to point it out to you. Fudge off.

Blehh. Before you run off by clicking on the red x button up there, scroll down and click on the play button. I love the lyrics. ~~Reminds me a lot about myself~~. Hah hah. I'm outta here. Enjoy the song.

♥ ♥ ♥

I’ve got two words for you.

2009-04-11T00:00:00.015+08:00

Happy Birthday, monkey.

You are officially ~~seventeen years~~ old. *laughs sinisterly* No offense. Hah hah. Why so serious? I'm just joking. Anyhoo, have a great birthday, lady. ♥

It’s meaningless, unless it means something to you.

2009-04-07T19:44:00.023+08:00

It's me again. I made it. Finally, I can think of something to write about. *grins* You could still ignore me and leave, you know? I'm serious. Nah, I'm just kidding. I should be studying. Or maybe. Uhm. I really don't know. Going crazeh here.

Boo, screw it. I still can't memorize my script. Hmph, stupid stinking oral test. Anyways, wait. *searching for words* What was I gonna say again? Oh yeah! Shit. Lost it again. I give up. Let's just talk about something else.

How about this? I have a really short memory span, eh? I have no idea why. *rolls eyes* Okay, that was lame. You don't have to tell me, I already know. Hah hah. So yeah, I'm a little crazy, weird or possibly both, what's your point?

Right, and now, I'm having trouble typing coherently, so I guess I'd better go before I make more spelling mistakes and forget to correct it. It gets on my nerves. And uh, I'm gonna go now.

He’s been running through my dreams and it’s driving me crazy, it seems.

2009-04-06T20:47:00.026+08:00

Hello there. *grins widely* I'm back. Sorry for disappearing. I just couldn't think of anything to write about. Heh heh. You get what I mean, right? Okay, ignore me. It's for your own good. I'm talking to you. You. Person reading this. (If anyone actually reads this.) I mean seriously just ignore me. I'm just being random. Or maybe I'm just ~~being~~ weird. Hah hah. You decide.

So frigging bored. Let's see. What random crap can Justine post here? Meh. I have nothing to vent about. *laughs out loud*

I bet you guys missed me. *coughs* I told you to ignore me. Don't say I didn't warn you. *laughs sinisterly* I'll be back soon. Hopefully. Alrighty then, goodnight, lovelies. ♥

If you haven't guessed, you could say I'm a little crazy right now. Fine, maybe not just a little. I'm just bored, alright? Nya hah hah.

It becomes worth fighting for.

2009-03-14T15:35:00.023+08:00

♥ ♥ ♥

Dr. Seuss

—

Be who you are
and say what you feel,
because those
who mind don't matter
and those
who matter don't mind.

x x x

When weeks dragged on.

2009-03-13T18:07:00.018+08:00

Exams. Are. Finally. Over. It's the end of the first semester. I know, I know. I didn't do well. Anyhoo, the holidays are here. *jumps for joy* Let's ~~try to~~ leave all the boring things out of the picture, yes?

What to do during the holidays? I have a whole week to give in to boredom but that's not something I wanna do. Any ideas? I guess not. Oh well. I'll come up with something. Happy holidays, loves. ♥

It doesn’t matter anymore.

2009-03-10T19:18:00.017+08:00

I guess it's about time I started updating again. Heh. I feel like blogging but I don't have anything to blog about. No worries, I still have plenty of time to blog again next time. Ciao.

I’m trying my best to find myself again.

2009-03-06T14:22:00.023+08:00

Guess what? I ditched school today. Hah hah. What? Don't look at me. I wasn't playing truant. I really wanted to take that test. In fact, I was really looking forward to it. ): I wasn't feeling well. Trust me, it sucked. Oh well, I guess that means I failed my English test. On the bright side, there's no school on Monday. Yay, that's a good thing. . . Right? Okay, don't answer that. I'm just gonna go now. Toodles. ♥

Actually, I still love you.

2009-03-05T16:01:00.018+08:00

Here we go again. Damn, I hate racking my brains just by trying to answer one stupid question 'cause in case you didn't know, it sucks. I am in no mood for exams and there goes the first two papers. Sheesh, why does it have to be so freaking hard? Screw it. Urgh, I am sick of exams.

You took my heart away.

2009-03-02T20:22:00.017+08:00

It's march already. *sighs* Exams starts on Thursday and there, before you know it, the first semester in school will be over. Haven't been studying much lately. Heh heh. Wish me luck. Later.

P.S. Good luck to everyone for tomorrow.

I don’t want to forget you.

2009-02-24T18:58:00.020+08:00

Yikes, I have too many long delayed projects and assignments but I don't have ~~much~~ time to get everything done. I need more time, seriously. I just came back from add maths tuition and I can honestly say that I don't understand a thing. I don't mean everything, I just can't seem to remember the formats and whatnot. I hope I can remember what to do when I open my exam papers.

That reminds me, exams are just weeks away. Me loathe exams. *big fat sigh* It's giving me a major headache. Plus, ~~I need to finish up my English essay and~~ I don't know what to do for my moral project. *screams* I really need help.

Meh, gotta go hit the books. Speaking of which, I just realized that the last time I opened a book to study was before and for PMR which was last year, and currently I just feel like studying. Hah hah, wtf? I think there's something wrong with me. Oh well, I'm gonna go now. Goodbye.

The person I used to be is dead and gone.

2009-02-20T13:56:00.033+08:00

Just came back from school awhile ago. It's Friday again, and that means there's no school tomorrow. *jumps for joy* School was practically the same, I guess? Yep, another one of those ~~normal~~ boring days at school. Who wants to know? No one, right? Right.

Uh oh, I just remembered something. I haven't started packing my things for later, and I'm still sitting here. I don't know what to bring. Bleh, I'll just bring whatever I think I'll need. I just need enough clothes for 2 days anyway. It won't take long. Hah hah. I'm such a procrastinator. Is that a good or a bad thing? Who gives a damn? No one. Bingo. Hmph, that's what I thought. Alrighty then, I shall go get ready now. Goodbye. ~~I'll update as soon as I get back~~. ♥

All the broken dreams, take everything.

2009-02-19T18:59:00.030+08:00

I am so bummed. I spent too much time pondering on this. I still can't find the answers. I know it's all a waste of time but I really need to know the truth. If you have something to say, just get it over with.

If I did something wrong then I'd like to apologize. I wish it didn't turn out this way. If I had a choice I would like to be out of it. *sighs* I wish it never happened. Why does it have to be like this? Why.

Why do you have to put me in the middle of everything? It's your problem, not mine. Advice? I'll give you one - deal with it, not drag me into it.

You keep putting the blame on others when you are the one who started everything. You keep saying this when you mean that. I'm sick of your games. I don't get it. You should have known me better.

Enough lies, enough said. I had enough.

I keep telling myself I'm okay when most of the time I'm not. I can't lie to myself. I can't hide the things I want to say, not anymore. Game over. I give up.

It hurts to see you again.

2009-02-18T21:16:00.011+08:00

Me ~~dislike~~ hate school. Too much conflicts? Or should I say problems? I feel like blogging but boo, too lazy to elaborate.

Goodnight. Sweet dreams with lots of candy. ♥

I’ve made it obvious.

2009-02-14T09:18:00.027+08:00

Deleted all my previous posts. Curious? Well, I can't tell you why because I don't know why I deleted everything either. I just want to start over. I'm tired of all those crappy stuff because, now that I think about it, I noticed that I kept rambling on and on about things I wanna change, things I can't change and blah-blahh-bla. It's depressing. Not all of it but most of it. So yeah, go figure.

Just by thinking about the things that's bound to happen makes me wanna smile. I bet it's gonna be so much better, it better be. *evil laugh* Ignore me, it's for the best. Hah hah. If only we knew what's gonna happen next. *wondering* Okay, I guess we'll never know. But, everything will be alright, right? Then again, everything still sucks, ~~for now~~.

Let's see, what did I forget? Oh yeah, I also changed my blog skin. It's pretty isn't it? *sticks tongue out* I'm just being lame, don't be bothered.

Blehh, I'm ~~running~~ out of words. Oops, I forgot something. Heh heh. Happy Valentine's to all of you out there, it doesn't matter if you're single of not. Lots of love from me to you. Toodles. ♥

P.S. Relink, relink and relink.